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Politik Interpersonal June 4, 2007

Posted by psimitar in abilene, drama.
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Ok, living with people again means interpersonal politics come into play daily. I can deal, but I’m in need of a refresher course.

First thing’s first, just in case I ever share this blog with my friends (because that’s half the point of blogging anyway,) I’m not bashing.

Small tiffs and major attitude are such a waste of time for me, yet I indulge often. I’m really trying my best to not get burned out on my new surroundings by taking some time for myself and separating from my room mates by designing in my room and various side projects that have nothing to do with their day-to-days. This afternoon was supposed to be for a Halo competition down at ACUs campus center but I took too long to get ready and ran headlong into a non-verbal cue that is going in my book of pet peeves: they were waiting in the car with the engines running while I was in the bathroom.

What’s the big deal? Depends on how you look at it.

Unlike anything I would do and completely benign, this set off a few alarms that made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I confronted them on it after being informed I should have asked for a few minutes if I wasn’t ready (hello, I put my socks and shoes on in the car, damage done!) and for letting them know I was feeling rushed I get the biggest news of my life: I’m responsible for my own feelings of being rushed regardless of the actions of others. That reasoning did me in for the evening, I asked to be taken home after realizing my words caused so much tumult. There was no way I was feeling the camaraderie tonight.

I always use the tried and true differential approach to assess intent and motivation for other’s actions and it often gets me in trouble: I always ask myself what I would do if placed in the other’s situation. In this situation, based on my own reasoning and processing, I would’ve simply waited patiently until the other finishes their preparations for departure. If I begin to feel as though there’s a problem, I’d ask and make sure the other can be ready soon. Only after every option has been exhausted, then resort to non-verbals like sitting in the car. I just think it’s rude, unthoughtful and a little pushy especially if it’s done during a leisure activity (of course I can see the effectiveness of doing such as a simple, albeit annoying way of saving time when on a hard schedule.)

It’s a hallmark passive-aggressive move that makes me crazy all the more because I understand it too well.

What, you couldn’t tell I’m a passive-aggressivist? I’m kvetching about it on a blog, ’nuff said!

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