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“Oceans” Drying Up… June 7, 2007

Posted by psimitar in celebs, rant.


Actually they’re overflowing thanks to America’s greedy energy habits [I’ve got 18 A/C units cooling the front yard for my 2:30 pm electricity-cotillion! You’re all invited, just show up in a hummer or private jet please.]

Oceans 12 was a nightmare of a movie. For the first time in my adult life I verbally groaned from the “acting”, non-compelling plot twists, and the overall masturbatory style the movie played itself out. Here’s the creative meeting I envisioned for moving Oceans 12’s plot to its final stages:

[CREATIVE GENIUS #1]: Julia Robert’s character Tess Ocean remarkably looks like the movie’s version of Julia Roberts, so let’s do an impromptu switch-out to get the characters closer to their mark. How’s that sou–oh, you’ve got something on your face.”

[CREATIVE GENIUS #2]: {WIPING WHITE POWDER AND BLOOD FROM HIS UPPER LIP} Err. Um, I think it sounds believable and the audience will identify with our clever inside joke. More whiskey and cocaine?

[CREATIVE GENIUS #1]: Yes please. I can still feel my left nostril.

Ugh, snore-fest.

Oh, and the press junket for these goddamn Oceans movies…this clip of the comedic masters George Clooney and half-mongoloid Matt Damon makes me nauseous!

Oceans 13 dries-out tomorrow, June 8th!


1. Seen Oceans 13? « Reality’s Receding Edge - June 9, 2007

[…] rather be eaten alive.In an earlier blog rant, I mentioned how much I didn’t care for this particular movie franchise. Maybe some of you […]

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